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Identity

by Of Blackest Oceans

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1.
Ark 04:35
There’s a place beyond the waking world. I shut my eyes and I see the outlines of landscapes, beyond comprehension. If I only I could go there again. Don’t make me leave, don’t make me wake up from this sleep. If it’s just a dream so real it seems, let the illusion take me. This is the end of life as I know it, but I can see so clear that my objective is worthy to take this lifetime and whatever else follows. As I watched my world collapse, I receded into dream. The closer I got to power, the more sleep evaded me. I can’t be sure I’m not crazy, but poison must be the key to unlocking the gates of deception. Behold its majesty. Decay left at the thresholds of greatness. A realm without death or despair. It seems as if nothing else changes; time no longer a burden. As the night began to shy away and the sky began to glow, I found myself surrounded by remnants of bloodlines I felt guilty that I didn’t know. But I have sacrificed everything of the nothing that I have left, to stand upon the edge of the precipice and challenge the chaos that put me to my test. Challenge the chaos, and claim my rightful throne. This time I’m going home. So I step from this plane of existence to feel no resistance. To fall such a distance. I have sacrificed everything of the nothing I have left.
2.
Dead Salt 04:03
They tell of the scriptures, of their great antiquity. Rumoured methods of a singular nature will bring wisdom from the brink. I speak of things no living man should know; ancient truth dredged up from the sands of time. Eternal glimpses to gain unworldly sight. Turn my back on my morals and on my family. For only knowledge is left in a world so corrupted and full of atrophy. I can explain my behaviour, but you know that there’s no time. For there are many things with which this darkness brings and the eye that turns is blind. Morbid secrets remain untapped waiting for me to speak the words. Lineage of blasphemy brought forth by the corrupted designs. Dissimulation. Hateful replacement. A masquerade. No respect for the dead or the living in kind. Disobey the senses. In solid form these souls collected. Heading in dark directions, abomination resurrected. Rendered incomplete. Features remain in symmetry. We all face certain defeat, but I know death is more becoming of me. Heed these words and by dead salt be bound do not call up that which you cannot put down.
3.
Ire 02:22
Voices. I hear them in my head. Where do they come from? When will they stop? Always expecting me to solve their problems. Always asking me to find whats lost. I’ve realised that I don’t know where I stand but I’d insist that I owe you nothing. There’s nothing here, there’s nothing left and it’s just what you’d expect; This life’s a lie and I don’t owe you shit. I am the root of all suffering. I am the cause of all hope. I am not fit for your worship. Whole existence disgraced with no meaning or purpose. Four walls collapsing in. There’s not pity in chaos; malevolent.
4.
Monolith 03:23
Do you remember how it felt when you thought you knew the truth? No trouble reconciling what seemed natural to you. Did you learn to justify it or would you let denial win? No matter what the outcome, it’s a lose-lose situation. Over and over I agonise, but I will never break free. To recognise that I’m a piece of the puzzle takes a part of me. So are you confident in your existence? Are you confident in your existence? Enough to be both judge and witness? Will you make the call where you sit and become just another hypocrite? The evidence is overwhelming. The anguish is all for show. Why pretend you don’t believe in something you claim to know. Why pretend you don’t believe it? Another hypocrite. Over and over I paint this picture but it is never complete. To recognise that I’m a piece of the puzzle takes a part of me.
5.
Siberia 04:16
Force open your eyes. Try to make sense of the world collapsing around you. See through their disguise and their cycle of misinformation. Now you cast away your soul, as you relinquish control. With their blood they pay the toll. It’s not too late to save what’s left of humanity. Are we too blind to see that we have placed a curse upon this world? We have the answer. We know the answer to what we should not question. We know the answer to every fucking question. Cast aside every objection. Unless we reach a crisis point, our lives would remain meaningless, where there’s no hope of progress. Is there nothing that you won’t believe? The entire world is living on their knees. This is our last chance to escape the jaws of fear that isolate us from any hope of regaining power. Reconstructed piece by piece, another lie to soon become a memory. In my mind I know that this could never be the path chosen. You’d rather forget, you’d rather give in. We lack the insight until you begin to see nothing is quite what it seems. Breathe deep and look inside - is this the path you’ve chosen? Reason is cast aside amidst misinformation. Realise the fate of knowledge lies within the hands of those who value ignorance. To set the wheels in motion. To recognise we’re victims of this paradigm. Behold, the promise is broken, brought down by blades of ignorance. The mad will lead the blind. We have the answer, we know the answer.
6.
Necrosis 03:54
Around in circles we have come once again. This endless cycle revolving with no relent. It seems so familiar. I know it like the back of my hand. I swear I've been right where I stand before. Can't stand to look but cannot turn away. Don't wanna miss a single second of this tragedy. I've take no comfort in this so-called hope. Feel the grip of disappointment tighten round my throat. I have let this self-loathing creep into my routine. So I let myself go, descending endlessly. In the dead of the night it awakens. Pay no heed to the vows we've forsaken. There's no escaping so I let go and descend endlessly. In the dead of the night we've awakened. Pay no heed to the vows we have forsaken. There can be no end if I can help it, by dulling my senses. You see I'm back here again. This endless cycle revolving relentless.
7.
Identity 04:29
8.
Sensory 03:36
So is this what I am? Acknowledged by many, known only by one. With each grain of sand, a solid foundation is slowly away. Beware what you claim, for all that you say is destined to day. The ghost of the words will remain; they will haunt you for the rest of your life. Is this what I am? Never a whole but a sum of components. The shape of a man, reduced to a series of conflicting moments. This is what I chose to become. Etched in stone can never be undone. So is this what you are? Your only direction: this map made of scars. Retrace the steps only to find the mistakes that you made were there from the start. Bare it all for the world to see. Realise all that’s inside is only skin deep. Beware what you claim, for all that you say will become a lie. The soul you sold is worth nothing. Unappreciated. Where do I fit when I’m shapeless? How do I stand with no legs? Am I wrong or am I blameless? No place to hide. I am content to suffer in silence. This is what I am. I am content to set my morals aside; to see there’s no sense. No argument can force the turning of tides that leaves you defenseless. I am content to suffer in silence (It’s best left unbroken). Live my whole life as if I was blinded (Yet my eyes are open). It might be true that I am spineless. At least I know what I am.
9.
Patriot 03:58
There is something that’s eating away at me from the inside out. I kept quiet to maintain the silence but this has to end now. All for nothing. I found darkness within the truth, Give me something, just a fragment to hold on to. As I replay the motions, it’s stirring inside. Never ending devotion. All I am cast aside. We adjust, we can learn. We rebuild the bridges we left to burn. Nothing’s fair and I know it hurts. Trust me, I know it hurts. This has to end. All break, no bend.
10.
Tides 04:02
It's always the same place I find myself in. Stranded by the tides of idle belief. Just to get me through. Shackled by the chains of thoughts that plague my mind and empty my lungs. These words are more than I expect from you. Build it up to break it down; a game that I have learned to lose. Your voice alone is burning me alive. Just to forget you. Walk down the same path every time, knowing it's just a dead end. For this I've learned to be hopeless. Lost at sea. I let go and I began to sink. Drowning in regret. Rub the salt in open wounds. Repay the silence I stole from you. Through all this honesty I felt the blade against my back. It was so hard to see I had a rope around my neck. I let go and I began to sink. Drowning in regret. Shackled by the chains of thoughts that plague my mind and empty my lungs. These words are more than I expect from you.
11.
Glass Heart 01:50
12.
As I began to search for the cracks in the surface, I questioned where it was that I went wrong. The shapes and colours, senses, they smother. Bearing the weight of the universal resonance. I turn to stone like so many times before. Evade the ever-changing. How is that I can still see, when my eyes are closed? This has become out of control. It slipped through my hands. The only sense of what I knew to be true is just a lie that we romance. Petrified, but open to suggestion. Take one look inside and leave it all behind. Unable to get a foothold, I’m swept away. Left with only what I’m told. But will I forget this? Even with the comfort of knowing this will surely end. I can feel the fear sinking in. I can feel myself slipping away. Without purpose this temporary loss of self will take its toll. Motionless I turn to stone. I’ve never felt more alone. Will I forget this? When will I forget this? And in the end if I am not the same remember the way I used to be. There’s hope if only I can forget this.
13.
Federal Hill 05:53
I have seen across the city to the hill. Curiosity of the darkest kind, in my mind instills. The tower black against the sky it imposes. I know inside that I have to get closer. It’s not as if I don’t know what I’ve gotten into. My fate is mine alone to bestow. A monument to celestial worship. Radiance from the angular stone. Have I come this far to betray the only instinct I know? Could it be that the shadows are calling my name as I give into the glow. So hard I try but I can’t look away. A visionary imperfection of purpose. The nebulous surface, amorphous display. Will I come to my senses or will I remain captivated. It’s too late now, obscurity has now relent as it spills forth from the being unknown. In the darkness I see the things I’ve never known. It begins demanding sacrifices. Wearing thin, subject to strange devices. Now to see beyond the black horizon. Now I have only myself to blame. And as the presence approaches I give in to the fear of the end. Light no longer protects me. Surrender to the darkness, oblivion. The shrouds of ancients surrounds me so I give in to the fear of the end. Across the city to the hill I can see where in the dead of the darkness lies the tower, unclean. Do I dare close my eyes to find myself in that room where the stone gave me sight and where it brought me to doom. Have I come this far to betray the only instinct I know? Could it be that the shadows now know my name as I give into the glow.

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released April 29, 2016

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Of Blackest Oceans Wellington, New Zealand

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